Time Flies When You're Turning One

Another long overdue blog post. I figured I couldn't let a full year go by without updating! Truth is....one of my top resolutions as a mom is to be present (so Oprah, I know). So when Max is up and at 'em, I key on soaking him in and doing things with him that he enjoys. Once he goes to bed at night, I'm wiped. Mustering the energy to even load the dishwasher is overwhelming. Hell, mustering the energy to even walk over to the dishwasher is....wait, why did I just get up? I can't remember. I'm tired. There are plenty of moms and dads out there who manage to parent effectively, load the dishwasher every night AND blog regularly, but apparently I am not one of them. So I just do what I can. Here we go.... 

All fatigue aside, things are good! On January 31, we celebrated Max's first birthday with our families. Since then we have been acclimating to life with Toddler Max. Toddler Max is different than Baby Max. Toddler Max has opinions. Toddler Max talks. Toddler Max walks....with little regard to his own personal safety. Toddler Max is not content to ride in his stroller much anymore. He wants to push his stroller. Toddler Max has little patience for diaper changes. He has been challenging us to find a way to do this that does not involve him holding still or being interrupted in any way. Who wants to lay down when there are windows to lick and doors to slam?

As with every stage a kid passes through, there are certain things that get more challenging, and other things that get easier or become more fun. So the challenging parts....anyone who has ridden in a car with me knows that I have a terrible startle reflex. Poor Nate. My dear husband, who by all accounts is a "professional driver," has endured nearly 14 years of me gasping and leaning away from very real (not real) and dangerous obstacles that pop up on the road. You know, like a crow flying in our general direction from 300+ yards away...it might accelerate to warp speed and splatter across the windshield. I mean, you just never know, right?

Onto my point: Make this easily startled woman the mom of a toddler learning to walk in a world of sharp corners. There is a lot of gasping in our house. I know, I know...all children get bumps and bruises. We have kid-proofed as much as we can and the best thing we can do is help Max learn how to safely navigate his environment while expecting some trial, error and boo-boos. Deep breath. But then another gasp! Ha. Same goes with eating. Max is generally very good at figuring out how much food he can safely fit in his mouth and chew at one time. But, with any child learning to eat solid food, there have been a few gagging episodes as he figures it all out. This has gotten much better the last few months but is still a stress point for me.

And, the fun...my favorite part of the toddler era so far is the talking. Not only because listening to a tiny person try to explain his worldviews with a 20-word vocabulary in tandem with wild gesturing is pretty hilarious and adorable, but also because it lessens the challenge of figuring out what Max wants. Around 14 months, he seemed to start a word explosion. We have been keying on words that help him communicate his needs...yes, no, milk, all done, up, help, tired, eat, bath, play, more. He understands that if we can get through a diaper change, he can ask to "play,"(PAAAY) and it helps alleviate frustration. Or, when he is finished eating and I ask him if he is all done, he will say "yes," (AH-ESSSS) instead of yelling or flinging his food around. Talking about bathtime in advance seems to make it more appealing. Bath is "BAFFFF"....but always in a whisper. Apparently baths are also secrets.

My favorite words are the ones he ad-libs without any prompting from us. One night we had Wheel of Fortune on in the background. Max was playing nearby, seemingly disinterested in the show. Then Pat announced to one lucky contestant that they had just won an all-expenses paid trip to ARUBA!!!! Queue the tiny voice from the corner: "Aruba." Wait, what?! It was nonchalant, and has not been repeated since. You know, a limited-edition type of moment. Another time, I was taking him down from his high chair after lunch and said, "Oh, you have peas in your neck." My little parrot says back, "Peas in my neck." We even had witnesses that time, two of my BFF's who are pre-school teachers. Otherwise I wouldn't have believed it myself. On a side note, as a parent you sometimes find yourself saying things that would sound completely ridiculous to an outsider. Like, telling your child he has peas in his neck. But he did. Lodged right under the chin! Sometimes we can't shovel food in fast enough and it ends up in the strangest of places.

Oh, and hugs. Baby Max was cuddly, which I loved. Toddler Max is busier, but lucky for me, he still gives hugs. He hugs my leg while I (try) to walk around the house. He hugs his dad's head while he lays on the couch (Max is the only person alive who is allowed to touch Nate's hair). He hugs the cat. He hugs his little stuffed animals when he sleeps. Max is also developing a sense of humor. We joke a LOT in our house. When he knows we're kidding, he will smile at us while turning his head sideways, and then giggle. I swear he also says things he knows will make us laugh. Picture this Hallmark moment:

Me, rocking Max before bedtime: "I love you Max. Mommy loves you so, so much. Can you say 'Mama?' Say Maaaaamaaaa."

Max: "DADDY." Then he puts his finger in my ear.

This kid never lets me take myself too seriously.

We're Back

The blog is back. And….with a new name! The old title of “Here Comes the Son…or Daughter” made more sense back in the day before we knew the gender of our little one. In keeping with the Beatles theme, the “Day in the Life” reference (with New added in) represents just that. This is a whole new life: Max’s life, our life as a couple, and our life as it relates to work, family, and friends. It’s crazy, busy, and rolls along faster than we can fathom. And thanks to our little boy, it’s a whole lot of fun!

So much has happened since our last update. I went back to work in late April, our moms took care of Max for three weeks at home, and then he started daycare in the middle of May. He has adjusted to daycare very well. As I mentioned in a previous post, it’s run by my good friend Kristin’s mom, Marilyn. Marilyn is a master…she has been doing in-home daycare since her own children were little and makes it look easy (even though it is very, very hard work!) She is organized, energetic, positive, has eyes in the back of her head, and she treats the children with such love and respect. As a result…that’s how the kids treat each other when they are at her house. Every day when I pick him up, he is smiley, clean, and content. I can tell he is being taken such good care of. This gives me huge peace of mind.

I cried the first day I left Max there because I was going to miss him so much. But I also felt good that he would be able to spend his days in such a safe and loving environment. The first couple of weeks Max spent at Marilyn’s house, Kristin and Mark’s daughter Alexis, who is three years old, asked everyone to call her Angie because she was Max’s mom. Since then, she has changed her name back to Alexis, but still keeps a careful eye on Max for me J. Her little sister Brooklyn is so sweet to him too. What a lucky little man he is!

Work has been going really well since I’ve been back. It’s already been two months! I do miss Max like crazy and find myself glancing over at his adorable picture on my desk more than a few times each day, but working again has proven to be a good balance for me as a person and as a mom. A little bit of adult interaction each day goes a long way! I’m lucky to work with a great group of people too. Just a couple of weeks after I went back, Max started sleeping through the night which made the transition even easier. I almost hate to say that because I don’t want to jinx our good luck. Only a couple months before he starts teething though, and then we’ll see if we’re still feeling lucky…J

Lucky. Nate and I talk all the time about how lucky we are to have Max. We are lucky that he is happy, healthy, thriving and growing. We are lucky that we get to spend every day with a wonderful little person who, at such a young age, reciprocates love so effortlessly and makes all of the hard work seem like no work at all. Don’t get me wrong, we have had our share of sleepless nights, new-parent anxiety, and a plethora of emotional ups and downs that come with such a huge life change. But…the rewards of having Max in our lives far outweigh the challenges of adjusting to being a new mommy and daddy. We are learning as we go.

Max is changing in leaps and bounds. His favorite activities include laughing at his dad, shoving stuff into his mouth, and performing baby yoga during diaper changes (picture an arched back, stomping feet, and flailing arms – what’s that pose called?) At his four month appointment, he weighed over 15 pounds which is 50^th percentile for weight, up from 6 pounds and 5^th percentile at birth. Oh, and he’s also working hard on sprouting some new hair. Dark hair! There might be a little bit of me in there after all. Up until now, he has been all Dad in terms of his good looks.

Last week, he started rolling over. It happened in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm, and I assume the noise woke him up. Being the considerate young man that he is, he decided not to cry…but instead to work on reaching an age-appropriate milestone. Once he got over onto his tummy, he decided to cry for joy, I think. So then I woke up, saw what Max had done, called Nate to take a look, flipped him back over and off to sleep he went.

In addition to all of the changes with Max and me, Nate also started a new position at Best Buy in May. It’s on the dot.com side of the business and is luckily a fast-growing area of the company. In addition to being a new dad, he’s also learning a new job. Minus the exhaustion, I think he loves every minute! The days in this life fly by, so I apologize for my long absence from this blog. I’m going to try to write a new post at least every couple of weeks going forward to keep everyone up to date and also use it as a modern-day baby book of sorts. Lots of pictures to come, I promise!! For now, I’ll leave you with this cuteness…

Dear Max

Dear Max,

You are already ten weeks old. These have been the most life-changing ten weeks of your mommy's life. I have learned more about myself in this short time than I ever thought possible. I considered myself a patient person before I had you, but you have taught me that patience is the most important skill for a parent of a newborn baby to have. You have also shown me how to be truly present in each moment. You grow and change so quickly, and we will never get these precious moments back, so we need to enjoy them. And enjoy them, we do!! We laugh so much every day. Your dad and I love to laugh and joke around, and it has been so wonderful to watch you join in the fun. Life is too short to take yourself too seriously. You already fit into our little family just perfectly.

Being your mom has deepened my empathy for other people, especially parents and their children. Never again will I judge anyone else's parenting choices, as long as they are loving their children and keeping them safe and healthy. Before you were born, I used to roll my eyes at crying children in Target. I learned very quickly what it feels like to be the mom of a screaming baby at Target, and also realized there really is no one right way to parent a child. Each family needs to do what is right for them, and there are lots of different ways to achieve this. I'm happy to report that our last several shopping trips have gone remarkably well, as long as I keep the cart moving, every....single...second!

As you get older, it has been such a pleasure for your dad and me to watch your sweet little personality come out. It's hard to believe that's possible at such a young age, but the way you act has changed so much in just the last couple of weeks. You are so happy when you wake up in the morning; that's when you smile the most. As I get you dressed, I ask you if you are ready to start your day and you answer me with the biggest, sweetest grin. I take that as a yes. I hope you're still a morning person when you're a teenager! You also LOVE to talk (even in your sleep). I think you get that from your dad. Our house is filled with the joyful noise of you telling me all about the hot topics in a baby's life. Those ladies on The View have nothing on you. Daddy is so happy to see you every night when he gets home from work. He rushes right over and gives you a kiss every time. The two of you have your special night-time routine, and we call him the Bath Master. He wants to make sure that you never become "the smelly kid." Ha!     

You've also taught me the importance of cat-like reflexes (which you know I certainly do not have). Changing a little boy's diaper is a game of russian roulette. Do you take the faster but more dangerous route and do a quick change without a rag in place to shield you, or do the smart thing and take an extra moment to protect yourself? Well, I've done it both ways, and we might end up drenched no matter what. Sometimes in the middle of the night we go the easy route and end up paying the price. I flick on the light to change your clothes and am greeted with a huge smile. Of couse! You planned the whole thing.  

It has been incredible to watch how the people in our lives have responded to you and embraced you with all their hearts. Your dad and I are blown away by everyone's genuine excitement and generosity. We have had so many visitors since you came home with us...friends and family bringing meals for us and gifts for you. I have absolutely loved watching my mom and dad (your Papa and Lola) become grandparents for the first time. Lola told me she feels like she has known you for much longer than you have been here...almost like we were all connected well before we even found out you were coming. I feel that same way about you. I know that you were meant to be my baby. It was also fun for us to watch Lola change her first diaper since 1988. She's still a pro! Papa likes to lift up your arm and watch it fall when you are taking a nap. He says that's how you know if a baby is TRULY asleep. Your Papa is very funny...you will see that more as you get older. My brothers Brian and Darren are such proud uncles. Their faces light up every time they see you. Darren comes over to our house and reads you books from our childhood collection, and you always look around to see where that big deep voice is coming from. You love to cuddle up and fall asleep in Brian's lap. I think you are drawn to his gentle spirit.

Your daddy's parents, Grandma and Grandpa, are also over the moon for you. Grandpa loves telling you you're "SO BIG" and Grandma can't get enough of your "mushy cheeks." They babysat for you once so your daddy and I could go out to lunch and we came home and saw them huddled in the corner of the living room, just looking down at you while you slept in Grandpa's arms. They had the biggest smiles on their faces. Auntie Ashley and uncle Jason are a big part of your life too. They are your godparents and will be there with you when you are baptized in a few weeks. Your auntie Ashley is a dental assistant and hand delivered your first baby toothbrushes to you on Valenetine's Day. You are lucky to have two wonderful cousins, Madison and Aiden. Madison is so sweet with you and always giggles at the silly things you do. Aiden can't wait to feed you M&M's. That was his first question when he met you in the hospital. "When can he have M&M's?" Good thing you have those toothbrushes ready to go.

Your mommy and daddy's friends have been so supportive, and they love you too. They are all honorary aunties and uncles. We can't wait to watch you grow up with them and their children in the years to come. When you were four weeks old, your aunties Kristin, Kari and Tara and uncles Mark, Brian and Jamie threw you the most awesome baby shower, complete with delicious food, decorations and all of our closest friends there to meet you. There was a slideshow of your newborn photos and pictures of me while I was pregnant with you. Your dad and I were so proud to introduce you to everyone, and you loved being held for five hours straight!

Thanks for being in our lives, Max...you have brought us more joy than you will ever know. You are the best snuggle partner and the most wonderful son we could have asked for.  

Love, Mom and Dad      

Firsts

Sorry for the long stretch between updates. Mr. Max has been keeping me verrrrry busy. I never fully understood what women meant when they said that maternity leave was a ton of work, until I went on leave myself. Don't get me wrong, I know babies demand a lot of attention, but I thought that being off of work would still leave me some spare time to get things done. HA! Parenthood has been nothing if not enlightening. And awesome!

Max is growing and changing in leaps and bounds. I went through all of our pictures of him yesterday and he is now almost unrecognizable when compared with the little baby we brought home from the hospital. My tiny, delicate newborn has turned into a chubby, robust, smiling little man. And...a loud little man, might I add! We are already experiencing lots of those "firsts" I hear other parents talk so much about.

Rolling Over (Kinda)
When Max was a couple of weeks old, we started doing tummy time with him every day. To my surprise, he actually rolled from his stomach onto his back all by himself two different times. I know that the actual milestone of rolling over isn't counted until baby rolls from the back to the tummy, but I was still impresssed. Max hasn't repeated this in the last couple weeks, and I think it's because he is becoming more comfortable with tummy time and is no longer so desperate to find a way to put an end to it himself!  

Smiling
This has been the most heartwarming milestone for us to see. Max smiled at me for the first time a little over a week ago. The funny thing is that for the few days leading up to it, I had been doing everything I could think of to make him smile, because I knew that babies sometimes start to do so around one month of age. My funny faces and sounds were met with sighs, stares, grunts and hiccups, but no smiles. I guess I was trying too hard, because the first time it happened, I was just shifting him into a more comfy position in my lap when his face lit up. I smiled, and he smiled back again even bigger so I knew it was the real thing. It was so great! Also, I was sitting in the exact same spot as I was when I felt him kick for the first time while pregnant, way back in August. I just love that couch.

Date
On Friday, Nate and I went out and enjoyed the gorgeous day while his mom hung out with Max for a little while. Max slept almost the whole time we were gone, but managed to fill his diaper right before we got home just so Cindy wouldn't get too bored, haha! We went to a restaurant close by home and enjoyed a quick lunch and cocktail out on the patio in the 79 degree weather. This was the first time we had gone out somewhere just the two of us since our little guy was born, and it was so much fun! After so many years of being able to do what we want, whenever we want, this has surely been a change. But these times we get alone are all the more special now.  

There have been a lot of other fun things going on (including a wonderful baby shower thrown by our friends a couple of weeks ago) that I will write about in my next entry. For now, I'll leave you with some more recent pictures of Max...

We Are Sleepy

Well, here we are...almost four weeks into our parenthood journey with sweet Max. Talk about a crash course! When I was about seven months pregnant, I met with someone at my job who is a pediatrician, and he asked me how everything was going. I told him we were in the midst of our Birth and Parenting classes, and he laughed, saying not to worry...this baby of ours would teach us everything we would need to know. And very, very quickly. How right he was!!! There are so many aspects to being new parents that we have learned about over the last month that I plan to post about, but I'll start with the most obvious and frequently discussed of them all...sleep.

Sleep? What is that again? It's a dear old friend who is becoming a more distant memory each passing day. Although, I'm happy to report that we have made some progress here over the last few days after some trial and (a lot) of error. Sleep deprivation is something you hear about constantly from new parents, and it's no lie. But there are some smaller details rolled in that have been a surprise to both of us. The biggest one is that the lack of sleep we get isn't just from Max needing the usual feedings and diaper changes every 2-3 hours throughout the night. It's also due to the noises he makes when he IS actually sleeping. You'd be shocked at the decibel power of a tiny 7 pounder. He grunts. He sighs. He does this low, creepy Bevis and Butthead laugh: "Heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh!!" He sometimes squeals. He growls. He gobbles like a turkey. It sounds like the Como Zoo in our bedroom.   

So, what to do? Well, you can cry. Just kidding! Sort of. As far as the frequency of the feedings and diaper changes, that's a waiting game for the first few weeks. We learned that when babies are born, their stomachs are the size of a cherry. So, they can only eat so much and stay satisfied for so long. Luckily, as they grow, so do their stomachs...and hopefully, the length of time between feedings. This week, Max has started lasting as much as 4 1/2 to 5 hours between feedings about once per day. As for the barnyard noises, the solution that worked best for us was moving him out of the bassinet in our bedroom and into his own crib in his nursery. Max's pediatrician suggested this when he was 2 weeks old, but I hesitated to act on it.

I was worried I wouldn't hear him if he needed something in the middle of the night. I also sometimes do that crazy new-mom thing where I hold my finger under his nose to make sure he is still breathing. After a string of virtually sleepless nights, I began to think the doctor was onto something. The barnyard noises really faked us out for the first couple of weeks. We didn't realize that these sounds were normal for Max while he sleeps, and by jumping out of bed and picking him up at every oink or meow, we were actually waking him up and throwing off his schedule. So, we tried letting him sleep in his own crib this weekend, and it worked wonders. He is now free to make all the noises he wants while he sleeps...thus allowing us to sleep and not needlessly awakening him either. If he really needs something, he cries and the mommy/daddy radar kicks in right away. I also gave up my crazy new-mom breathing checks. Holding my finger under Max's nose can't be helping his airflow. 

Despite this progress, we still spend quite a bit of time awake each night. It's been a great opportunity to relive my childhood, teenage and college years by watching endless re-runs of Friends and Full House on Nick at Night. I remind myself all the time not to ever wish these days away. When Max gets older, I will long for the times when my sweet boy woke up in the middle of the night just to snuggle with me.   

I'll wrap up this entry with some of the pictures from Max's newborn photo shoot, done by our friends Kari and Brian. These were taken two weeks ago, and he already looks so different. Tired or not, everybody likes looking at pictures of cute babies.

Max's Birthday

The day before Max's birthday started out ordinarily enough. It was Monday morning and as I drove to work, I realized the shirt I had on was the same one I'd worn the previous Thursday. Great. But not as bad as the time I wore black socks with brown shoes. Anyways...

As the day went on, I noticed I was having Braxton Hicks contractions, almost constantly. I didn't think much of it, because they weren't painful at all. Plus, at my most recent doctor's visit, there hadn't been any progress from the previous week so I assumed Baby O was going to stay put until his due date or even after. I emailed Nate about the contractions, but added that nothing would likely come of it. Labor contractions are supposed to hurt, right? Famous last words.

As we were having dinner on Monday night, the contractions started to become uncomfortable, but still not painful. I laid down on the couch and started counting the time between each one. It was about 4 minutes...then an hour later, 3 minutes. The doctor said to call once they were less than 5 minutes apart and at least 45 seconds to a minute in length. Mine were close enough together, but only lasting about 20 seconds. I called the doctor at about 8:30 and he said to wait and see if they became stronger and more frequent, and if so, to call back again.

I continued tracking the contractions, and had to laugh when I looked at the sheet of paper I was using. Earlier in the night, the entries were neatly organized and labeled with pain levels. As time wore on, they became more sporradic and desperate looking. All the while, Nate was getting everything organized. He was much more convinced than I was that this was it. He even turned his truck around in the garage so it was facing out and ready to go, haha!

By 10:00, the pain was bad. I was doubled over and unable to talk through the contractions. They were also becoming longer (30-45 seconds) and only about 2 minutes apart. I called the doctor back and he told me to go to the hospital to be evaluated. At this point I started feeling a little teary because I was excited to meet Baby O, overwhelmed at the thought of what was happening, and emotional... knowing this would be the last time Nate and I would be a little family of two. 

We arrived at the hospital around 10:30 and they hooked me up to the fetal monitor, and another monitor for the contractions. The nurse noticed that Baby O's heartrate was "decelerating," meaning it was staying at a basline rate most of the time, but every once in a while it would dip down and pop back up. What they want to see is the opposite, accelerations, where the rate pops up occasionally, then back down to baseline.

They hooked me up to IV fluids and started oxygen to see if that would perk the baby up, and moved me into a labor and delivery room. Baby O's heartrate continued with the same pattern, and around 1:00, they told me I was far enough along for an epidural. Queue the singing angels right here. The epidural helped so much. I could talk, breathe and think again. It was wonderful, but we were still worried about Baby O and wanting to make sure he was okay.

At 2:30 my water broke and the nurse explained that there was a fair amount of mecomium, meaning Baby O had pooped in the amniotic fluid. This, along with the decelerations, meant that he was getting stressed out by the labor process. The nurse called my doctor at home, and he told her that he was on his way into the hospital so that we could figure out our next steps.

Dr. Shibley arrived and told us exactly what we were expecting: that a c-section would be the best way to make sure Baby O came out healthy and thriving. He was concerned that the baby wouldn't tolerate 8-10 more hours of labor well, and taking him via c-section was our safest bet. They started getting me ready for surgery and Nate and I snapped these pictures of eachother...the last ones before we became parents! Nate looks happy and excited, and I look...well, like I'd been in labor for a while (but also happy and excited!)

They wheeled me into the operating room at about 3:30 and started working to get Baby O out. The anesthesia took away any pain I would have felt, but I could still feel all of the pulling and tugging. This actually didn't bother me, because it helped me understand what was going on since I couldn't see anything through the sheet they hung in front of me. As soon as they pulled him out, I felt a big release of pressure and the nurse anesthetist sitting up next to Nate and me yelled, "A baby boy!"

They took Baby O away for a couple of minutes to suction out his lungs, weigh him and assess him. Everyone kept repeating that he looked great, and then came the sweetest sound...his little cry eachoed over to me and before I knew it, Nate was holding him up to my face. Words can't even describe what that felt like. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Baby O was born 1.31.2012 at 3:57 AM, weighed 6 pounds even and was 19 inches long. Most importantly, he was perfectly healthy! Next it was time for us to decide on his name. We had picked out two boy names and only one girl name, so we had to decide between the two boy options. He looked like a Maxwell to us. Max for short. 

 

We stayed in the hospital until Friday, February 3 which was our original due date. Our days were filled with visits from nurses, OBGYN doctors, pediatricians, and many friends and family. Max also had lots of tests done and passed them all with flying colors. I hear a lot of new parents say they couldn't wait to get out of the hospital, and I can understand why because it is exhausting. I slept 30 minutes the first day we were there. However, Nate and I didn't mind it all that much. Being a first-time mom and dad, it was reassuring to have someone there 24 hours a day to answer questions, to make sure Max was doing okay, and to have time to recover from the c-section.

Boy, c-sections are no joke. The first time I got up to walk, it felt like I hadn't been out of bed in weeks (when really, it had been less than a day). But every day gets easier, epsecially since I've been at home and moving around a lot more. Plus, I am so excited and happy to have my little man at home and so busy taking care of him that I haven't had time to focus on my own discomfort. And of course Nate has been a huge help and has taken great care of both of us. All three of us are a little sad that today is Daddy's last day at home with us before he goes back to work tomorrow.

Today is Max's 2 week check-up. We're excited to see how much weight he has gained. When we left the hospital, he was down 8 ounces from his birth weight (which is typical) and at his first check-up the following Monday he had already gained 5 ounces back. That was a week ago today so we're hoping he is nearing the seven pound mark! I'll update again soon with more details about his first couple of weeks at home and how this new life of ours is going. We both feel like totally different people now, in a good way. So far, I would say that having Max is the most rewarding, humbling, exhausting and wonderful thing we have ever done. We are in love...

He's Here!

Maxwell Lee Offerdahl was born January 31, 2012 at 3:57 AM via c-section. He weighed 6 pounds, measured 19 inches long, and is very healthy. We just got home from the hospital today, so I'll post another entry as soon as I can with pictures and more details about our little man's birthday!