Daddy O

A lot of the time during pregnancy and childbirth, the focus is placed mostly on the mom and baby (which is understandable). The mom gets most of the attention, the questions and the belly rubs, the mom goes in for the doctor’s appointments, and everyone asks how the mom is feeling. But what about the dad or partner? This person’s life is changing too, in big ways. No, he isn’t battling morning sickness or experiencing an unprecedented rise in clothing size. But he is watching the person he loves most go through some massive changes, all the while wondering how different his life and his relationship will look in a few short months when the baby is born.

A couple weeks ago, I was reading one of my pregnancy books and came across a section called “Dad: On the Outside Looking In.” I showed it to Nate and he laughed, but then remarked how it’s kind of a sad thought. Every relationship is different, and men might have varying levels of interest in the whole pregnancy process even though they love their baby very much. I'm lucky that Nate has been a very involved dad, even though Baby O is several months away from being born. He has come to every doctor’s appointment with me and seems genuinely interested in all things relating to the baby. He even reminded me recently that we really need to start shopping for nursery furniture. As many of you know, he is the decorator in the family, so this isn’t too surprising.

I make a concerted effort to include Nate in everything that is happening with the pregnancy. I don’t ever want him to feel like the man in the book who is on the outside looking in. This will continue after Baby O is born. An article I read recently talked about how important it is for moms to back off and let dads have time alone with the little one to develop their own methods for care-taking. Not only does this give Mom a break, it also gives Dad time to bond with the baby in his own way, increases his confidence in his parental instincts, and shows him and everyone else that he can do a really nice job caring for his child. Baby belongs to him every bit as much as he belongs to Mom.

I asked Nate what he is most looking forward to when the baby first comes home from the hospital. His response: “I’m excited to give him lots of hugs.” Seems kind of funny, but it’s actually right on the mark. In those early weeks before babies begin to smile and interact, it’s sometimes hard to know what to do with them beyond the basics like feeding, bathing, and diaper changing. Giving out hugs seems like a good plan to me.

I am overflowing with anticipation for this baby to be born as the day draws closer. But I am just as excited to watch my husband grow into a loving father, which is already happening right before my eyes. Nate is known for his charisma, outgoing personality, fun sense of humor, and his undying love and commitment to football and cheeseburgers. However, over the last 12 years I have been blessed to watch the kid I met at a college house party blossom into the man of my dreams, and the father I’ve always dreamed of for our baby. Those of you who know him well are aware there is much more to him than meets the eye. They say that no matter how long you are with someone, your partner can keep surprising you and revealing layers of their soul you didn’t even know were there. I can attest to that. And I’m forever grateful that our baby will have Nate as a father.