Why We Waited

Nate and I were married just shy of 6 years, and together for almost 12, before we found out we were pregnant. This is a pretty long time by many standards but for us, it was perfect. We are planners in every sense of the word, and any decision we make (especially one this important) has a ton of thought and consideration behind it. There are lots of reasons for the intentionally long and winding path we took to parenthood. First, we have always lived in the moment and enjoyed where we were at in every stage of life without dwelling on what should come next. I know this sounds funny coming from people who call themselves "planners," but this is the best way I can describe it: We knew that kids were in our future, but there were certain things that needed to be done before that could happen and we wanted to have a good time along the way. There was hard work to be done in terms of our careers, saving up, buying our house and getting it ready. 

But there were also less tangible pieces that needed to be in place, beyond the logistical and financial stuff. In the midst of this hard work, we fell more in love, built friendships that will last forever, had the opportunity to travel, and learned many life lessons. In a word (or five)... we just plain grew up. Once while on vacation in Arizona, we met a man who was married to his wife for several years before they had children. This was his advice to us: "Don't let anybody tell you that you won't have a family until your children are born. The day you get married, that person you vow yourself to IS your family. Any children you have down the road are welcome additions to that family. But it all starts with you two." Nate has always been enough to make me happy, and I never felt like anything was missing. I see our future kids as the culmination of our many years of love and commitment to one another, and I couldn’t be more excited.

We both feel strongly that it's crucial not only to provide for your children in the physical sense, but also provide for them in terms of teaching and leading by example. Newlyweds Angie and Nate circa 2005 likely would have been good enough parents if a little blessing had come along sooner than expected. There are plenty of younger parents (including our own parents, back in the day) who do a fantastic job of raising their children, and we certainly understand and appreciate that every couple is different. For us, it was important to take our time and build a life that we could feel 100% comfortable bringing children into, and become the kind of people our kids will look up to one day. We know we still have a lot to learn and more growing to do, but we’re going into this with our eyes wide open.

Also…as anyone who is a parent knows, kids are a lot of work. They are wonderful, but a LOT of work! I worked in a pre-school during high school and college, and this point was truly driven home for me during those years. I loved working at Westwood…it taught me so much about children and their awesome little minds, but it also gave me a front row seat to what was in store in terms of the life changes that come with parenthood. As my dad told me more than once, “Marriage is change. But Angie, kids are REVOLUTION!” So, I’m not going to lie. Nate and I have thoroughly enjoyed 12 years of selfish fun…sleeping in, impromptu date nights, and living life on our own terms. But several months ago, something finally clicked and we knew that we wanted a baby more than anything in the world. Chasing our dreams has been a lot of fun...now we're ready to chase some kids around the house too. J