As Baby O's due date draws closer and the idea of being parents becomes more and more real to Nate and me, a lot of thoughts are swirling in our heads. Even though the baby isn't "here" yet, we find that the way we think about our lives and how we make decisions is already changing drastically...because we have a third person to consider when doing so.
Some decisions are smaller ones...for instance, neither of us had ever gotten a flu shot before this year. For me, the reason was pretty lame to be honest: I was deathly afraid of needles and therefore reasoned that I'd rather get the flu than be poked in the arm. Nate had never really had a full-blown case of the flu and didn't see the need to get a shot. But then something happened late last spring. Fate laughed in our faces and we both got a horrible, horrible case of the flu. It turned us into a couple of whimpering balls of mush that were completely unproductive for several days. Fast forward to the beginning of this year's flu season...we are expecting a baby and the last thing I want is to get the flu while I'm carrying a vulnerable little one inside of me. And that fear of needles is long gone due to pregnancy turning me into a human pin cushion. Plus, we had to consider that Baby O's winter due date is right in the middle of flu season...from what I've heard, newborns and the flu don't mix. So after considering everything and doing some research, that decision was a no-brainer.
Another decision that faces new parents is whether to stop working to take care of the baby, or opt for other childcare options and continue with their careers. Nate and I discussed this a lot, years before we were even expecting...and we've always agreed it would be best for me to go back to work after our baby is born. Both of us had stay-at-home moms growing up, and we loved it. Some of our friends and former co-workers also stay at home with their children, and are very happy with that choice.
So, while we are definitely aware of the benefits of going that route, we decided on something different for ourselves. Why? There are lots of reasons. First, lets be real: finances. Life is expensive, kids are expensive, unknowns can be expensive...everyone knows this. Secondly, I do enjoy working outside the home. I like the structure of getting up and going somewhere every day, I enjoy the adult interaction I have with my co-workers, and my career is something I take pride in. For me, it's a big part of keeping my mind sharp and my skills current.
And finally, this choice was made easier knowing that Baby O will have excellent care after my maternity leave ends. One of my dearest friends, Kristin, sends her children to her own mom's in-home daycare right here in Lakeville. Very soon after we found out we were pregnant, I called Kristin's mom (Marilyn) to check her availability for May of 2012 and was thrilled to learn she would have an opening that month. Marilyn is very experienced, has a beautiful home and is someone who we trust completely. An added bonus is that Baby O will get to spend his days playing with Mark and Kristin's two awesome little girls, Alexis and Brooklyn. Some of the other parents at Marilyn's daycare were high school classmates of Nate's as well, so having all of those connections is very reassuring.
We made this decision with Baby O's best interests in mind, too. We both believe that exposing your children to other kids and giving them the chance to socialize, play, learn and cooperate is very helpful in the development process. I worked in a pre-school for many years and remember how satisfying it was to watch those friendships and life lessons play out day after day. Now, this is not to say that we won't both have times when we feel sad or guilty dropping Baby O off in the morning and wish we could spend the day holed up at home, snuggling, playing, and ignoring the outside world. However, Nate is lucky enough to work from home a day or two a week, and my job has very generous paid time off so anytime Baby O needs an at-home day, we'll have the flexibility to accommodate that...and will be very happy to do so :) All things considered, we are satisfied with this decision and know it is the best one for our family.
Maintaining balance is something else Nate and I think about a lot. We know that our life will change drastically the day Baby O is born (in some ways, it already has). Our child will be our first priority, but we don't want other parts of our lives like our marriage and our friendships to completely fade into the background either. It will take more advance planning and the nature of the outings will change, but we want to keep seeing our friends and having date nights when we can. Our friends are a second family to us, and we can't imagine our lives without them. We know Baby O will love them as much as we do. And of course there's our marriage and my wonderful husband...without which we wouldn't have our sweet Baby O. Nate and I promise to keep laughing and talking every day, watching bad horror movies together and going out for Mexican food when time allows...just doing the little things to stay connected as a couple. Happy marriage = happy baby, right?
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